Friday, April 6, 2012

I Had An Abortion (Part III)

(...continued from Part II)

Why Was My Experience Positive?

Other than the aforementioned red tape and the physical pain of the procedure, I can only describe my experience as positive. The Planned Parenthood workers were professional and straightforward with information, nurses were caring, and my doctor was caring and competent, combined with a great sense of humor. I’ll admit I was little surprised at my own positive post-abortion emotional state, being that I have heard the post-abortion trauma propaganda all my life. I think my relatively positive experience is owed to three specific factors, and unfortunately, not all women will have these advantages - I consider myself very lucky.


I knew what I wanted. 
I had very carefully thought through the issues long before I became pregnant, and I was clear on what I would do if I had an unwanted pregnancy. I did not agonize over or second-guess my decision. At 28, I had maturity and plenty of time to develop my own views, separate from those of my parents or church.

Many women with unintended pregnancies are much younger and have not yet developed their own independent moral codes. Some pro-life women find themselves in situations they never dreamed they’d face (e.g., rape) and have to wrestle with a philosophically or religiously impossible choice. Some women have incredibly difficult decisions to make regarding wanted pregnancies that have developed dangerous health risks for mother and/or future baby.

I had support.
While it was my decision to make, it was helpful that my husband agreed with and supported my decision. I had a like-minded friend with whom I could share my story. It is not surprising that women have post-abortion emotional trauma when their partners, families, communities or churches vilify them for their decisions. I am a little sad that this is an experience I can probably never discuss with my mother or other family members.


I had resources and received quality care. 
There was a Planned Parenthood and a practicing abortion doctor in my town (albeit the only one within a 90-minute drive). If it had been necessary to travel to another state for an abortion, as it is some areas of the country, I would be able to take time off from work to do so. Although my health insurance (like most providers in this country) did not cover abortions, I was able to pay the $400+ out-of-pocket for the procedure and related appointments without significant financial hardship. The healthcare providers I dealt with were respectful and competent. In fact, because I was so impressed with the professionalism of the Planned Parenthood staff, and so grateful for the resources they provide, I left a donation. (Parenthetical rant: I’m hoping, and suggesting, that other women who can will do the same. I would also encourage concerned citizens to get involved politically; I think it’s criminal that health care plans do not provide abortion coverage.)

Not all women have access to quality reproductive care. Not all women can afford to take time off work or pay for an abortion. Some women live in states with legal or logistical hurdles to abortion, such as parental consent for minors, waiting periods, or where they must drives long distances to access care. (Although I had to comply with a waiting period, in my situation it was more of an inconvenience than a hardship, since the provider was in my city.)


Share Your Story

So that’s my story. I encourage other women to tell theirs. Positive or negative, anonymous or outright, just honest. I realize not all women have had it as easy as I did. But maybe if we all share our stories, abortion will not carry the stigma that it does now. Maybe someday I’ll have the guts to tell my pro-life mother, “You know what? I had an abortion. And I don’t regret it. It was the best decision I ever made.”

No comments:

Post a Comment